Single Parent Fathers – The New Generation | Author: Priya Florence Shah

Single parent fathers inhabit a world that requires the male of the species to sneer at and overcome all obstacles. His support network is nowhere as formidable as the kind single mothers enjoy. Most single parent fathers are on their own on the job. This does not include day-to-day parenting alone – many single fathers have to tackle the challenges of their children’s school lives, too.

Picture a single dad helping his kid with homework, getting him ready for school each morning, meeting teachers and attending local PTA meetings and you are picturing a rather beleaguered man at the best of times.

Though not all single fathers complain about this, the fact remains that they also have to contend with a certain genre of women in whom they seem to catalyse some very unhelpful motherly instincts. Such women are overwhelmed with a need to be a mother both to the child and the father, and ‘adopt’ both for all the wrong reasons.

The parenting world is geared for mothers, not fathers. This means that single fathers have to operate in a world that believes that they are simply not equipped to care adequately for their children.

Let’s Hear It For The New Breed Of Single Dads!

Be that as it may, single fathers are growing in numbers. More and more courts grant custody of a child to fathers who can and do display sufficient ability to provide for their children’s needs. In fact, it has now been proved that men are just as capable of successful single parenting as women, and that men bond better with their children in a single parenting situation than in a two-parent setup!

Bucking Stacked Social Opinion

We tend to regard single fathers either with pity, disdain or suspicion.

* Pity, because we know the parenting match is fixed in favour of women

* Disdain, because we believe that only a selfish, uncaring and possibly ineffectual man would ‘deny’ his child a mother

* Suspicion, because we expect some gross abnormality to crop up in the ‘deprived’ child at any point

Very few of us see this emerging status as a natural extension of the ‘metrosexual’ – the all-male man who can handle tasks normally attributed to women with despatch and élan.

Strategic Advantages

Going by present statistics, single father parents generally make a better go of things post divorce than single mothers –and are also more emotionally ‘there’. The reason, of course, is that single fathers tend to have a better financial infrastructure – because of which they do not wig out over money matters as easily as single mothers do. In the absence of excessive preoccupation with finances, single fathers are able to devote more time and calmer, more level-headed attention to their kids.

Another advantage that single fathers have over their female counterparts is that they are more secure in their own skins when it comes to personal relaxation and recreation. Single mothers are often guilt-driven to include their kids in almost everything they do.

In practical terms, this means that single fathers offer their children more space and more freedom to structure their own time. They are also far more able to unwind and de-stress than single mothers, which further reduces the burden on children.

About the Author

Arun Chitnis writes for Parentella, a private communication platform for parents and teachers. By creating a parent community, we enhance conversations between parents and teachers. Visit us for a private, safe, and secure experience in communicating with your child’s educationists.

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