ÿþ<html> <head> <title> Setting Boundaries in the Workplace | Author: Krissy Jackson - Career Coach </title> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=Windows-1252" /> <meta name="description content=" Setting boundaries is the single most common issue my clients deal with in their personal and professional lives. Why do women find them so difficult to put in place? And what can you do if a lack of boundaries is standing between you and the career success you desire? "> <meta name="keywords" content=" Boundaries, Women and Boundary Setting, Workplace Boundary Setting, the it Girls Coach, Christine Jackson "> <meta name="robots" content="index,follow"> </head> <body> <table align="center" width="1000" frameborder="0"> <tr> <td width="2" bgcolor="#FEBA63"></td> <td width="1000"> <iframe src="http://holylandmap.net/selfulfillment/top.html" hspace="-10" width="1000" frameborder="0" height="275" valign="top" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> <table width="1000" height="100%" cellpadding="10" frameborder="0"> <tbody> <tr> <td width="160" valign="top"> <center> <iframe src="http://holylandmap.net/selfulfillment/left.html" hspace="-10" valign="top" width="160" height="2000" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" ></iframe> </center> </td> <td width="650" height="" valign="top" cellpadding="10"> <div align="justify"> <font face= "windows" size="4"> <h2> Setting Boundaries in the Workplace | <em>by Krissy Jackson - Career Coach</em> </h2> Setting boundaries is the single most common issue my clients deal with in their personal and professional lives.  Why do women find them so difficult to put in place?  And what can you do if a lack of boundaries is standing between you and the career success you desire?</p> <p><strong>What are Boundaries?</strong></p> <p>Whether you re working in the corporate world or running your own business, you need to develop and continually exercise strong boundaries.  Boundaries are the environment within which you operate  mentally, emotionally and physically.  They separate you from other people.</p> <p>Think of a boundary like a vase. The vase is holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers  these represent your mind, body and spirit.  If the vase were to break, the flowers would be scattered about, the water keeping them alive would flow over the table and on to the floor and very soon the blooms would wither. The same thing happens when you don t have boundaries.  You feel overwhelmed, out of control, and scattered. And, still worse, you make yourself vulnerable to being controlled and manipulated by others because you re afraid to stand up for who you are. We need boundaries,  the vase, in order to bloom, in fact, quite simply, to survive.</p> <table border="0" valign="center" align="right"> <tbody> <tr> <td> <center valign="middle" align="right"> <iframe src="http://holylandmap.net/selfulfillment/floating.html" hspace="-10" valign="top" width="360" height="310" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> </center> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table> <p><strong>Why are Boundaries So Difficult to Set?</strong></p> <p>There are several reasons why women find boundary setting challenging:</p> <li>They don t like confrontation. </li> <li>They re socialized to be nice because  that s the way they re supposed to be, and</li> <li>They re afraid people won t like them. </li> <p>Women seem to experience more difficulty setting boundaries than men do.  We re socialized in a way which makes it seem like we re  bad if we are too assertive.  My clients often comment that they re afraid that if they say  no or speak out, that their colleagues will not like them, or even heaven forbid that they will become the office B**** that everyone loves to hate.</p> <p>Life is filled with confrontation of one sort or another. We must all learn to deal with it.  No one will agree with you 100% of the time.  The opposite is also true.  And, others will not always treat you with respect, no matter how much you may deserve it. Confrontation is where problems are aired and new lines are set. When you look at it from this perspective confrontation actually plays an important part in our growth as people.</p> <p>Being nice and having boundaries are not mutually exclusive.  Setting boundaries does not mean that you re bad or wrong.  Instead, it means you value and respect yourself. You need to define what is acceptable in terms of how others will treat you.  So what is the best way to move into your power by setting boundaries?  Here are seven tips to help you get started.</p> <p><strong>Build Better Boundaries:  7 Success Tips</strong></p> <p>1.  <strong>Model success.</strong> Think about someone you really admire.  I m sure he or she has strong boundaries.  While you might sometimes find it somewhat annoying, that s probably the single most important reason you respect them as you do.  How do they manage their boundaries?  Observe their behavior  then try modeling it.</p> <p>2.  <strong>Think first, act later.</strong> What s important to you?  How do you want others to treat you?  Spend some quiet time thinking things thru before you decide to let others know how you feel.  This is a much better approach than suddenly deciding in the middle of a heated argument, that you re  just not going to take it anymore , often a very expensive mistake. Don t risk damaging your career, business, or personal relationships by acting on impulse.</p> <p>3.  <strong>Teach others how to treat you.</strong> Every day, you re training people how you want them to treat you, whether you know it or not.  By not speaking up, by not informing people about how you wish to be treated, you are confirming that this behavior is completely acceptable in your world</p> <p>4.  <strong>Management by following up.</strong> This strategy is especially important if you re working with others to whom you ve delegated tasks.  <table border="0" valign="center" align="right"> <tbody> <tr> <td> <center valign="middle" align="right"> <iframe src="http://holylandmap.net/selfulfillment/floating.html" hspace="-10" valign="top" width="360" height="310" frameborder="0" scrolling="no"></iframe> </center> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table> Write down the deliverables, when they were committed to, and their expected completion dates.  Follow up daily by phone or in person to make sure that others are working towards completing things according to plan.  Regular and focused follow-up reminds others of your expectations.</p> <p>5.  <strong>Say  No and tell them why.</strong> When you say  no to someone, offer a reason.   No, in and of itself, can come across as harsh and abrupt.  Lighten up your communication by extending the conversation with some details.   No, I m so sorry, but I have a lot of commitments right now and taking on this project  would be too much at this time. </p> <p>6.  <strong>Say,  Yes, but &  .</strong> When faced with the inevitable last minute request, typically delivered by those who live in chaos and overwhelm, make sure you re even stronger with your boundaries.  If you can handle the task, say  yes  but with the provision that you ll do it when and only when you re completed with working on your current projects.</p> <p>7.  <strong>Under-promise and over-deliver.</strong> When you re asked to do something, tell them that things will take a little longer than you expect.  This way, if something does come up you ll still be able to deliver on time.  And, if everything proceeds as planned, then you ll finish early and they ll be pleasantly surprised.  Setting boundaries and setting expectations in the minds of others go hand-in-hand.</p> <p><strong>Boundaries and Your Success</strong></p> <p>In summary, boundaries are critically important to your success in life, both personally and professionally.  They define who you are and who you are not.  They empower you to value and respect yourself.  And, when you do, others will as well. It all starts with you.  Take on the challenge  I guarantee you that the rewards will be well worth it. <br><br><br><h4>About the Author</h4> Career coach Krissy Jackson, CPC, specializes in working with women in IT and communications who want to take charge of their lives and careers. From career planning to promotions, from time management to transition strategies, Krissy empowers her clients to design and develop their careers on their own terms. Known for her straightforward coaching style and her ability to focus quickly on key issues, Krissy has attracted a global client following representing a variety of industries. To read more of her articles and career coaching tips, visit http://www.ITGirlsCoach.com</p></body> </html> Article Source: <a href="http://www.articlesbase.com/career-management-articles/setting-boundaries-in-the-workplace-434502.html" title="Setting Boundaries in the Workplace">http://www.articlesbase.com/career-management-articles/setting-boundaries-in-the-workplace-434502.html</a></p> </font> </div> </td> <td width= "160" valign="top"> <iframe src="http://holylandmap.net/selfulfillment/right.html" hspace="-10" valign="top" frameborder="0" width="190" height="2000" scrolling="no"></iframe> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table> <center> <iframe src="http://www.holylandmap.net/selfulfillment/bottom.html" hspace="-10" width="1000" valign="top" frameborder="0" height="500" valign="top"></iframe> </center> </td> <td width="2" bgcolor="#FEBA63"> </td> </tr> </table> </body> </html>